Enough About Me... How About You? What Do You Think Of Me?


Thursday, August 11, 2005

Why are you dating? To get married, you? Same.

So I got a call from a friend of mine from back East today. He’s a co-worker actually, but we’ve become quite good friends as well. Anyhow, he’s in his early 40’s, has four children and in March of last year, his wife of 20-odd years left him and his children (wipe hands on apron, hang apron up, walk out door, never look back). They had what I guess could be considered a reasonable divorce – he didn’t make a big deal of the fact that she was cheating on him and that she wanted to have nothing to do with raising their kids anymore…

So there is my pal, single, with four kids (one recently graduated from high school, two in high school and one in middle school). He’d been married his entire adult life – they were quite religious and got married when she got pregnant at age 18. So back to the Bible he went, though he never strayed any further than an occasional drink on the worst day. He decided to not date until the divorce was completely final, in May. Lo and behold, he visits a Christian dating site around the end of April and “meets” this lovely woman. They exchange multiple emails… something like the following:

Why are you dating…. to get married. Me too.
Do you have strong family values…yes. Me too.
Are you serious about religion…I am a Fundamentalist Christian. Me too.
Do you plan to have sex before marriage… no, do you? No.
How long have you been single? Since my husband died 13 years ago (and I haven’t had sex since).

So they are completely on the same page… have a few common interests and decide to go on a date in late May. Poof. I got a call from him today to tell me that they’re engaged.

My head hurts.

So I’ve been dating my whole adult life and I’ve never encountered anything like this. I’m mystified. Is it really that easy? Perhaps I’ve jumped too soon by ruling out internet dating? Why have I been going through all this dating silliness?

Can they seriously be well matched and know it this early on? Or is it because they’re a lot older and looking for something entirely different than me? I know that I’m looking for a best friend/fireworks combo and I won’t settle for just one or the other. I’m mystified!! (still!) I’ve been seeing someone for exactly that amount of time and let me tell you I CAN’T EVEN USE THE BF WORD!!! I think I need a nap.

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 1:34 PM :: 1 Comments:

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