Enough About Me... How About You? What Do You Think Of Me?

Friday, August 12, 2005

Non-Sexual Life Partners (yes, I have more than one!)

Some of you have undoubtedly noticed that one of my favorite expressions (other than “aaaaand we’re done” and “one, two, three, up your bum” and of course the omnipresent “f-cker) is “non-sexual life partner” (NSLP) This is what I call my close girlfriends that were it not for a complete lack of sexual attraction (sorry, girls!), I could happily spend the rest of my life with in non-lesbian (boys on the side) wedded bliss.

The inaugural NSLP is Vermont Girl, whom I presented as such at last year’s work Christmas party… THAT was fun… people were like, “this is my wife, so-and-so,” and I would reply “this is my non-sexual life partner, Vermont Girl.” It always took a minute or two for them to sort that out in their heads. I think I’m a bit of a bigamist however, because Greektown is also a NSLP… anyone who exchanges flowers with me on Valentines Day and routinely suggests chocolate ice cream for supper… is so NSLP material! Come to think of it… SJ Flames is also a NSLP (although his mother took me aside recently and suggested that if he could just “get over boys” that he and I would be perfect together… I think I replied that it was what we had most in common…).

Speaking of which, criteria for being my NSLP… you must be cool in a way that no one else is. This is achieved mostly by not giving a flying f--- about what anyone else thinks about you – this is a very difficult attitude to adopt and it is my favorite thing about these people. Also, being super cool and trendy qualifies ("those kicks are ill"). A talent for ridiculing those not imbued with our talent, beauty, grace and fashion sense is also critical and a trait that all of my NSLPs have in common….

Apparently I’m not alone in this kind of behaviour… the New York Times had an article yesterday about Non-Sexual Girl Crushes… it’s a great read if you have a few minutes… the bare bones is this… studies have proven that non-sexual crushes are felt in one part of the brain, distinctly different from lustful crushes that occur in a completely different area. So there you go, embrace the NSLP philosophy and announce it to the world!

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 12:50 PM :: 3 Comments:

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