Enough About Me... How About You? What Do You Think Of Me?

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Commitment-Phobe Strikes Again.

So you all know me as something of a commitment freak – I don’t like it. Well, I like it just fine up to a certain point and then something in my mind breaks with reality and poof, I’m on my own again. And though you’d all probably peg me as an optimist (I think of myself that way - upside, upside, upside!), I am definitely a relationship pessimist. Let me explain.

I never really think anything is going to work out, even if nothing is wrong and I really like the person. Not sure why that is. I haven’t had my heart overly broken… not anymore than anyone else out there. Nor have I any legitimate reason for being so guarded. Other than the very pathetic, if you don’t get your hopes up, you won’t be disappointed theory. I know, totally pathetic. It’s all I can think of on short notice (without intense psychotherapy). So what brought this on???

All of this occurred to me yesterday as I was standing in front of the condom section at my local drug store. Sure, I could buy the big box… it makes more sense, right? Fewer trips to the drug store to do the condom walk… all good. But as I stood there, the thought going through my head was… hmmm… will I use them all? Is it overly optimistic to think that I’ll be with the current dude long enough to use 24 condoms? Should I buy the small box? 12, now that sounds a bit more manageable… But I hate that I’m a pessimist about this! It’s like giving in to my commitment-phobe self!

And just in case you’re all wondering, NO, this discussion did not take place aloud, but rather in my head. Whew…

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 12:07 PM :: 1 Comments:

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