Enough About Me... How About You? What Do You Think Of Me?

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Okay, now look ANGRY

Sunday afternoon, the Skydome (dammit, Rogers Center)… game three of the Jays / Indians series. We’re sitting in the 500s, enjoying the sun and the game and some beer. Well, melting is more like it… Goddamn it’s hot up there…

So not a great game for the Jays, who lost to the Indians, but not a terrible outing for Josh Towers.

Alright, not my most riveting play-by-play on a game ever, but that’s ‘cause I’m saving the best for last… Sunday night a friend and I headed down to the Jays Fest Gala at the Liberty Grand (at the National Exhibition). Jays Fest Gala, you ask? It’s an annual “thank you” party hosted by the Jays organization in appreciation of season ticket holders. Now I’m not myself a season ticket holder, however my company is and the guy who manages the tickets – well, I have lunch with him every day… and I can be very charming…

So we get back to my place after the game, throw on business suits and head to the Ex. Having no idea what to expect, we arrived at the Liberty Grand around 730 (doors were at 6) in hopes of perhaps seeing one or two ball players and grabbing some decent food. It didn’t quite work out that way…

We walked in to the main ballroom and standing just inside the door was Corey Koskie. OMG, Corey Koskie. And he looked angry. Which is to say that he looked normal. So as I walked by him, I blurted out “Great game today” and just as he puts his hand out to shake mine, I walk away dazed. Oops, kinda missed Russ Adams who was standing next to him and ALSO played.

Okay, shake it off, shake it off, you can do this! For God’s sakes I’ve been to Coachella!! In the VIP area! With Danny Devito and Scott Speedman!!! I’ve sat with Sarah from the Arcade Fire and met the whole band!!! I know what will help… a drink. Off to the bar I go…

So I’m lined up at the bar (while my pal is off ATTACKING the buffet) and I’m kind of snickering at the guy in front of me, who’s wearing a rather loud polyester button-down shirt that says “bikini-tini” on the back with a cartoon picture of a girl (the sort of picture you see on mudflaps on a transport truck). Tee hee. Oops again, it’s Frank Menechino. Of course it is…

Alright, I now have a drink in hand, well actually, I’m double fisting because I’m holding my friend’s drink too – he found a whole other area of the buffet… “Turn around,” my friend says quite calmly, “there’s Roy Halliday.” Okay, now I’m sweating.

Don’t ask me how, but somehow I managed to summon the nerve to go over and chat with him, his wife (hello, gossip much? I think she was ready to give me dirt on everyone!) and gulp, Corey Koskie again. So off I go, apologize to Corey for “being such an idiot and feeling a bit star struck” and chat with the three of them for oh – five minutes or so. Wow. Gotta say, I kind of have a bit of a crush on Corey… Anyhow, we mix and mingle for a while, which really means I drank and my pal ate… Gustavo Chacin was there, Russ Adams and Aaron Hill, pretty much everyone other than Eric Hinske – which was for the best, because I had been practicing my “Eric Hinske’s an idiot” line all day… (season).

Finally, we track down the guy I was hoping to see… Shea Hillenbrand. I LOVE Shea Hillenbrand. Love him. He’s my favorite. Anyhow, we went up and had a really interesting and lengthy chat with the guy… he’s great! Totally down-to-earth, one of those guys that is in it for the game. And he had his shirt practically unbuttoned to his waist… ah, bit of a crush now, actually.

So we wound up the evening listening to Edwin McCain – the guy who sings “I’ll Be” – the musical talent they brought in for the event. We lasted, what, two songs before it was time to accost Corey Koskie one last time. I wanted to get a picture with him before leaving… I jokingly said to my friend that I should ask him to look angry in the photo since that’s how he looks most of the time anyway. And the next thing you know…

Hi, do you mind if I get a photo with you?” “Of course.” “Here’s the thing – could you do me a favor and look angry? It’s kind of a running joke – you look angry most of the time – in your stock photo and when you’re batting especially. It’ll be more authentic…” He laughs and puts his arm around me. (melt!). So my pal is completely screwing with the camera (on purpose as it turns out – I guess I looked like I enjoyed the Koskie arm around me – now that’s a friend…). I’m laughing, Corey’s laughing and I’m bugging him to try to look angry. “How am I supposed to look angry when your friend can’t work the camera and you keep giggling!

Ah well, the photo turned out quite nicely after all…

And Shea...

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 1:54 PM :: 1 Comments:

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Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Now THIS is baseball!

2-1 Jays vs. Indians

Sporty Spice:Did you know that the Cleveland Indians don’t actually have any Native Americans on their team? It’s mostly Puerto Ricans and Americans…”
B/E/G:I know that I gave you my corporate seats, but if you have no one to go with, I’m back in… but don’t take the ticket away from someone else, that would make me an Indian giver…”

Alright, so we’re wildly politically incorrect, but so began our weekend of baseball, baseball and more baseball. I had originally planned to go to Saturday’s game, gave my tickets away because it was my sister’s last weekend in Toronto, and then she and I ended up heading down at the last minute. It was just one of those days where plans get changed every other minute… in keeping with that – instead of picking up tickets in the 500s for $12, I ended up negotiating with a scalper in the Skywalk for Premium Dugout tickets – section 123, 16 rows up. UNBELIEVABLE. The tickets faced for $55, were $60 as a walk up and we got them for $35 apiece. We even had cupholders… for a game against one of the best teams in the AL, neck and neck (and neck) with the Angels and Yankees for the wild card race…

The game was great, although Hillenbrand wasn’t playing (boo hiss, he’s my favorite). I was sitting next to two old ladies, attending the game with a full picnic no less… I was a bit worried about my language around them, until about halfway through the game when the lady next to me turns towards me and says in a low voice:
Old Lady #1:I’m from a small town and I’m wondering if that’s a man and a man” (points to the person in front of us with pierced ears, about 5’10, wearing a black dress shirt with they’re arm around a shorter man with a mustache).
Old Lady #2My husband thinks it’s a woman, but I think it’s a man
B/E/G: “My sister and I were just having this discussion! We think it’s two men!”

Yes everyone, I got to play “Is that a man or a woman” with the two old ladies… Too much fun!

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 9:42 AM :: 0 Comments:

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Friday, August 26, 2005

Jason Collette is the new Stars

I LOVE Jason Collette.  Not in the “hello, can I take my clothes off for you” kind of way that Greektown does (he’s dead to me!), more in the non-lustful way that I love the Arcade Fire and Stars.  I cannot get enough of his cd… I listen to one track after another and each one prompts a “Oh I love this song… Oh, I love THIS song…” reaction.

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 2:14 PM :: 2 Comments:

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Oddball things on my to-do list:

  • Find a gun range in Toronto and learn to shoot a handgun… not for any reason other than I’m not good at very many things in life, but I am great shot with a hunting rifle. I feel I should not neglect my talents. Does anyone know of a gun range in Toronto?? The closest one that I've found is in Barrie.
  • Go to a strip club. Yeah, I’m really not a fan, I’ve always looked rather disapprovingly upon the whole thing and really, have a whole idea of what goes on in there that may or may not be true. (I’m probably UNDER-estimating how nasty they are?).
  • On the other hand… take a stripper-pole dance class. They have those you know… I can't find a gun range, but stripper-pole dance classes I'm all over!
  • Buy a tazer gun. This might involve going into the states and trying to sneak it back into the country. I’m not sure where all this protect-thyself-related to-do stuff is coming from other than someone got tazered last night on Veronica Mars and it seems really cool.
  • Learn how to mix records. Spin records? Whad'ya call this? Again, this just seems really cool. I basically want to be Li'l Jaz...

That’s all I’ve got for right now. I think I’m forgetting something, but I left the actual to-do list (which Greektown and I put together last night while drinking red wine and eating chocolate cake) on my kitchen counter this morning.

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 1:42 PM :: 1 Comments:

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Thursday, August 25, 2005

And Nevermore Shall I See the Sun... Or Maybe Not?

Ever since I moved to downtown Toronto, I’ve been hearing about this mysterious “PATH” that traverses the downtown core and allows people to go from Front Street, all the way to – rumors sayBloor Street and some say even as far north as Eglington. I’ve been on the PATH before, as has anyone who lives downtown. But none of us, even those who’ve been in Toronto for years, knew how far the PATH extended – until now. I recently discovered a copy of the PATH map on a real estate site while shopping for condos.

Spanning a total distance of 27 kilometers, the PATH goes from Yonge & Dundas (including Red Lobster) to the Skydome (ahem, Rogers Center). It traverses the Eaton Center, The Bay, extends to Roy Thompson Hall and the CBC building as well as Union Station and the Air Canada Center. Sadly, it does not include the Yonge & Bloor underground shopping labyrinth.

One thing I’ve noticed of late is the overwhelming bias towards the West End of Toronto. Although there are certainly lovely areas in the East Side (Beaches… but who can afford it?!), the subway system is developed on the West side only, as is the PATH. I guess the East Enders have the DVP to console themselves with?

I suspect that my next move / condo purchase will be a West Side Story. In the interim, prepare yourselves for a trek through the PATH!

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 12:50 PM :: 1 Comments:

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Wednesday, August 24, 2005

TIFF - That Time Again...

My coupons are ordered, the film list was released today and the schedule is available next week. Yes, kids, the Toronto International Film Festival is about to begin!!

So I was glancing through the press releases today and found the all-important list of guests that have confirmed their attendance at this year’s 30th annual festival… The list of international stars is what you want to look at… Let me help you out… Will Ferrell, Colin Firth (whom I will gleefully stalk again this year!!) and so many others that will be wandering the streets around my ‘hood. Have I mentioned that this is one of my all-time favorite things to do in Toronto? I’ll try to do a film-by film recap for you all… although I suspect that will be somewhat daunting with ten films in 12 days! Plus all of the celebrity stalking I’ll be doing… AND the U2 concert / family visits! Oh, and this small project I’m working on… right – training for a marathon.

Anyone else feel their life flashing before their eyes?

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 11:59 AM :: 0 Comments:

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005

All You Need To Know About... Undiscovered

Movie: Undiscovered
Director: Meiert Avis
Writer: John Galt
Distributor: Lion Gate Films
Steven Strait: Luke Falcon
Pell James: Brier Tucket
Kip Pardue: Euan Falcon
Carrie Fisher: Carrie
Ashlee Simpson: Clea
Perrey Reeves: Michelle
Fisher Stevens: Garrett Schweck
Shannyn Sossamon: Josie

Plot: A group of aspiring entertainers try to establish careers for themselves in the city of Los Angeles.

Comments: Okay, if you’ve looked at the cast list, you’ve seen that Ashlee Simpson is in this movie. And yes, she sings… Strike one, strike two. The movie is definitely a teen-angst film about post-teens. Confused? I was mostly confused about how a so-so looking girl landed so many modeling gigs… but I digress…

The movie is about a musician guy who falls for a girl. She rebuffs his advances, but decides to secretly advance his career – he gets mega successful, then loses it all because of his feelings for her. But wait, there’s more...

Kudos to you if you stick around for all of it. Favorite parts of the movie – teen audience members heckling Ashlee anytime she sang… the two guys sitting in front of us that laughed hysterically at every lame joke, then sat at the edge of their seats during the last ten minutes and clapped without a trace of irony at the end. These same guys (one of whom I posted for your viewing pleasure today… see what I’m up against?! A middle-aged, pot-bellied, orange-Hawaiian-shirt-wearing dude!), actually LAUGHED at Greektown and I when we unapologetically clapped and cheered when Brier cut Luke’s hair at the end (OVERDUE). I've never laughed so hard at being laughed at.

I don’t really recommend this movie unless you’re going to see it with the same people we did – they MADE the movie one of the most enjoyable theatre experiences I’ve had of late (and I’ve seen / enjoyed some GREAT films – more reviews this week!). Also, note to Carrie Fisher: lose the eyeliner!

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 1:05 PM :: 2 Comments:

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Friday, August 19, 2005

Make Friends With The Centipedes.

So I headed to Home Depot this week to pick up some assorted bug sprays and powders because my apartment is overrun with centipedes. I am not happy.

I have no problem with scooping and flushing the occasional bug, spider, centipede or whatever. But the once a month, then once a week, and now every other day (and two on Wednesday morning) crush and flush routine has got me completely freaked.

So, yes I’m quite girly, but I like to think I have a legitimate reason for being so freaked that I haven’t really slept well for the last week… I had a bit of an issue in my last year of school – four of us rented a ramshackle house that ended up having rats (one died under the floorboards over Christmas break), mice, bees, carpenter ants (they were in Cowgirl’s room – she’d come home from class and have to wipe the sawdust off of her desk every day… they’d leaver her little messages, like “time to study…” Friendly bunch of ants, really), and spiderstons of spiders.

Our vacuum, (a retro model we called R2) was used more for sucking up spiders than anything else. We’d do a sheet check every night before bed… Although we sort of got used to them, we were never thrilled about finding them in our beds. So this one night, I go off to sleep – and I am a SOUND sleeper – the only thing that wakes me up is, say, a kick in the back or elbow to the head (I’m not naming names, but…) – anyhow, I fall asleep and the next thing you know, I sort of half wake up because my forehead is itchy. I brush my forehead and fall back asleep. Minutes later, it happens again. I sit up, turn on the light and a HUGE spider is on my pillow. The effing thing was so big IT WOKE ME UP WHEN IT WALKED ON MY FACE. So I kind of have a thing against creepy crawlies.

Anyhow, so the centipedes. I (obviously) called an exterminator to have them come in and rid me of the pests (centipedes are NOT insects, they’re considered pests. Interestingly, centipedes are related to lobsters, shrimp and crayfish – little known fact). The exterminator guy was most obliging, but informed me that they wouldn’t guarantee the work because I’m on one of the top floors and “they are ground pests – they’re not originating from your unit, so we can’t guarantee the work unless we’re finding the source. Great. He did mention that he was happy to come in, at $125 a pop, to exterminate as many times as I thought necessary. Gee, thanks.

Anyhow, several calls to the building manager later… they’re having a pest control company come in and take care of them Monday. Although I haven’t seen any in the apartment for the last two days, I think this morning I killed the centipede that ate the tarantula that lives in a vent over my parking space. In the interim, I guess I just keep my shoes on!

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 12:18 PM :: 2 Comments:

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Thursday, August 18, 2005

Don't ask a guy.

So I was out for drinks with a co-worker friend a few years back (who’s visiting next week… fun!) and I was at the time, contemplating new frames for my glasses. I like to get new frames every couple of years, keep it fresh and all. So I asked my co-worker what he thought of my glasses…

BEG: Whaddya think of my glasses?
Co-Worker: (thoughtful) Well, there are cool glasses, you know – trendy – and then there are yours.


So I’m back on the prowl for new frames (found them I think, FCUK frames – very trendy) and was asking a guy friend what he though of my glasses…

BEG: Whaddya think of my glasses?
DUDE: Well, they’re functional. You can see with them. You should probably wear them.

Just for the record, my glasses are the (still) very trendy rimless kind that I plan to keep wearing even after I pick out a new pair (despite the fact that they appear functional!!!).

Perhaps I should stick to asking the opinion of my NSLPs – though they’re my life partners, I needn’t worry about them giving honest opinions… We’re a beeyatchy bunch, but tactful.

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 12:01 PM :: 3 Comments:

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Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Commitment-Phobe Strikes Again.

So you all know me as something of a commitment freak – I don’t like it. Well, I like it just fine up to a certain point and then something in my mind breaks with reality and poof, I’m on my own again. And though you’d all probably peg me as an optimist (I think of myself that way - upside, upside, upside!), I am definitely a relationship pessimist. Let me explain.

I never really think anything is going to work out, even if nothing is wrong and I really like the person. Not sure why that is. I haven’t had my heart overly broken… not anymore than anyone else out there. Nor have I any legitimate reason for being so guarded. Other than the very pathetic, if you don’t get your hopes up, you won’t be disappointed theory. I know, totally pathetic. It’s all I can think of on short notice (without intense psychotherapy). So what brought this on???

All of this occurred to me yesterday as I was standing in front of the condom section at my local drug store. Sure, I could buy the big box… it makes more sense, right? Fewer trips to the drug store to do the condom walk… all good. But as I stood there, the thought going through my head was… hmmm… will I use them all? Is it overly optimistic to think that I’ll be with the current dude long enough to use 24 condoms? Should I buy the small box? 12, now that sounds a bit more manageable… But I hate that I’m a pessimist about this! It’s like giving in to my commitment-phobe self!

And just in case you’re all wondering, NO, this discussion did not take place aloud, but rather in my head. Whew…

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 12:07 PM :: 1 Comments:

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Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Whaddya do?

So according to Toronto Police, the recent rash of shootings, drive-bys and gun-related deaths (10 deaths in 21 shooting incidents over the last three weeks) are not related to gang activities. The officer then cites one example of a shooting related to a robbery. Whew… that’s ONE shooting explained – how about the other 20???

Drugs and gangs, turf wars and general tensions are being blamed for the seemingly endless stream of shootings. More police are being put on the street immediately, targeted to “problem areas,” (Good, they can also look for that nut-job Todd Smith who walked out of the halfway house leaving a note that stated “he’d never be taken alive.”) which I can only imagine includes my neighborhood… But seriously… if it’s not gun shootings, it’s escapees from halfway houses!

So how to deal (Not the movie of the same name with Mandy Moore!)? When the police added more cops to the North West end of Toronto, the gun violence moved downtown (to my ‘hood!!!). We’re adding more cops there – so what happens when it moves somewhere else?
A few weeks ago, the Star published a Summer Survival Guide that included stuff like What to do when meeting a celebrity, how to not get killed driving a bike downtown, and believe it or not, how to survive a shooting. Shooting survival tips included: having an escape route, ducking behind cars… etc. You know shootings in Toronto have gotten out of control when…

It’s an odd feeling to have that general uneasiness about my neighborhood. I mean, I always knew that the side streets around me were pretty sketchy and I always avoid them. And the shootings were all blocks away from me – in an area I’d never have occasion to visit anyway. And when was the last time I was wandering the streets at 3 AM? (Okay, maybe not that long ago… piss.)

So how am I to deal with gun violence in my ‘hood? I guess that I just have to be more careful when I’m out and about at night – do stuff like perhaps spending the few dollars to jump on the Subway at 1 in the morning when I would normally just walk along main roads. But if I do this, am I giving in? I guess not. Giving in would be to consider a relocation uptown… Yonge & Eglington? Ugh, I can’t! This really gets under my skin. I like my neighborhood and really don’t want to feel unsafe and REALLY don’t want to feel chased away.

Escapee Todd Smith:

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 1:38 PM :: 0 Comments:

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Monday, August 15, 2005

And I thought Scarborough was bad....

For the last several weeks, even preceding the Caribana shooting sprees, (According to Greektown, “somebody always gets shot during Caribana weekend.”) the number of shootings, murders and murders by guns have been splashed across newspaper covers and are the lead news items on radio and TV. Mayor David Miller even came home early from his vacation, dug around a bit and scrounged up money to hire 150 new police officers in Toronto to deal with the situation.

I’ve often made jokes about how dangerous my work ‘hood is. People frequently get shot in the neighborhoods surrounding our building. That being said, I’m generally out of here by 7 PM latest and safe and sound back downtown by the time the thugs hit the streets (well, there was that one time that a cop was shot in the face during the day, but that was at least two years ago…).

But am I safe and sound downtown? I always thought of my home ‘hood as pretty safe. I’m within walking distance of some pretty sketchy neighborhoods, but I’ve never felt any danger where I am. The last few weeks have sort of led me to question that a bit. Last night there was a drive-by shooting two blocks from me that killed someone. Last weekend, there was another shooting just South West of that one and again, within walking distance. And here I was making fun of Scarborough… (I frequently tease my sister, who’s living / working in Scarborough for the summer about the fact that when there’s a murder anywhere in the GTA, they refer to the intersection closest to the scene (Scarlett & Lawrence, Jane & Finch, etc…) whereas whenever there’s a shooting in Scarborough, all they say is “shooting death in Scarborough” and that about covers it, because so much of it is sketchy.)

So I guess I have to stop making fun of everyone else’s neighborhoods and keep my head up a little more in my own. Oh, and duck for cover whenever a “black SUV” drives by after midnight… Hmmm, more on this tomorrow. Oh, and coming up… a review of The Aristocrats!!!

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 12:10 AM :: 0 Comments:

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Friday, August 12, 2005

Non-Sexual Life Partners (yes, I have more than one!)

Some of you have undoubtedly noticed that one of my favorite expressions (other than “aaaaand we’re done” and “one, two, three, up your bum” and of course the omnipresent “f-cker) is “non-sexual life partner” (NSLP) This is what I call my close girlfriends that were it not for a complete lack of sexual attraction (sorry, girls!), I could happily spend the rest of my life with in non-lesbian (boys on the side) wedded bliss.

The inaugural NSLP is Vermont Girl, whom I presented as such at last year’s work Christmas party… THAT was fun… people were like, “this is my wife, so-and-so,” and I would reply “this is my non-sexual life partner, Vermont Girl.” It always took a minute or two for them to sort that out in their heads. I think I’m a bit of a bigamist however, because Greektown is also a NSLP… anyone who exchanges flowers with me on Valentines Day and routinely suggests chocolate ice cream for supper… is so NSLP material! Come to think of it… SJ Flames is also a NSLP (although his mother took me aside recently and suggested that if he could just “get over boys” that he and I would be perfect together… I think I replied that it was what we had most in common…).

Speaking of which, criteria for being my NSLP… you must be cool in a way that no one else is. This is achieved mostly by not giving a flying f--- about what anyone else thinks about you – this is a very difficult attitude to adopt and it is my favorite thing about these people. Also, being super cool and trendy qualifies ("those kicks are ill"). A talent for ridiculing those not imbued with our talent, beauty, grace and fashion sense is also critical and a trait that all of my NSLPs have in common….

Apparently I’m not alone in this kind of behaviour… the New York Times had an article yesterday about Non-Sexual Girl Crushes… it’s a great read if you have a few minutes… the bare bones is this… studies have proven that non-sexual crushes are felt in one part of the brain, distinctly different from lustful crushes that occur in a completely different area. So there you go, embrace the NSLP philosophy and announce it to the world!

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 12:50 PM :: 3 Comments:

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Thursday, August 11, 2005

Why are you dating? To get married, you? Same.

So I got a call from a friend of mine from back East today. He’s a co-worker actually, but we’ve become quite good friends as well. Anyhow, he’s in his early 40’s, has four children and in March of last year, his wife of 20-odd years left him and his children (wipe hands on apron, hang apron up, walk out door, never look back). They had what I guess could be considered a reasonable divorce – he didn’t make a big deal of the fact that she was cheating on him and that she wanted to have nothing to do with raising their kids anymore…

So there is my pal, single, with four kids (one recently graduated from high school, two in high school and one in middle school). He’d been married his entire adult life – they were quite religious and got married when she got pregnant at age 18. So back to the Bible he went, though he never strayed any further than an occasional drink on the worst day. He decided to not date until the divorce was completely final, in May. Lo and behold, he visits a Christian dating site around the end of April and “meets” this lovely woman. They exchange multiple emails… something like the following:

Why are you dating…. to get married. Me too.
Do you have strong family values…yes. Me too.
Are you serious about religion…I am a Fundamentalist Christian. Me too.
Do you plan to have sex before marriage… no, do you? No.
How long have you been single? Since my husband died 13 years ago (and I haven’t had sex since).

So they are completely on the same page… have a few common interests and decide to go on a date in late May. Poof. I got a call from him today to tell me that they’re engaged.

My head hurts.

So I’ve been dating my whole adult life and I’ve never encountered anything like this. I’m mystified. Is it really that easy? Perhaps I’ve jumped too soon by ruling out internet dating? Why have I been going through all this dating silliness?

Can they seriously be well matched and know it this early on? Or is it because they’re a lot older and looking for something entirely different than me? I know that I’m looking for a best friend/fireworks combo and I won’t settle for just one or the other. I’m mystified!! (still!) I’ve been seeing someone for exactly that amount of time and let me tell you I CAN’T EVEN USE THE BF WORD!!! I think I need a nap.

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 1:34 PM :: 1 Comments:

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Best Weekend EVER

Last Weekend...
Yankees. Beer Festival. Taste of the Danforth. Three days and nights of the most fun ever. EVER. I’m going to attempt a photo journal of the Beer Festival – but it means doing a bit of photoshop because either me, Scallywag or Greektown are in every photo…

(above) Continuing on with the Mullet obsession...

(above) Scallywag's brother and I enjoying our time with the drunkest fat guy... he later fell over and rolled around on the ground for awhile...

(above) My favorites of the Beer Festival... matching sunglasses and everything...

(above) Is his shirt yellow or orange? The question of the evening and a matter of some debate on the patio at Taste of the Danforth (over Margaritas) until Greektown and I wandered over to ask for ourselves... the answer was "tangerine."

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 12:16 AM :: 1 Comments:

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Monday, August 08, 2005

I am so smart.

I was downloading photos from this past weekend’s Beer Festival / Taste of the Danforth off of my digital phone and discovered that with a bit of effort (had to edit the clip into a manageable size), I can download any song from my iTunes onto my cell and set it as my ringtone. I am the smartest EVER.

I’ll never have my phone on vibrate again because the Arcade Fire’s Rebellion is my new ringtone…. Until I throw on Ghetto Superstar… OR Brown Eyed Girl! The possibilities are endless.

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 1:53 PM :: 3 Comments:

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Friday, August 05, 2005

Romance is not dead...

I admit to right now, having a bit of a crush on Greektown’s brother, Capital City. Recently attending the Blues Festival in Ottawa, Capital City got caught in a downpour and gratefully accepted the kind offer of shelter from a girl with an umbrella. The two huddled, chatting under the umbrella for much of the evening. It turned out that the girl actually lived in a house that Capital City’s friend used to occupy. At the end of a lovely evening, they parted ways and alas, he forgot to ask for the girl’s phone number.

He did however, have her address… so Capital City summoned his courage and decided to send the girl a postcard… unable to find any "artsy" postcards--only postcards about Ottawa or Canada—he settled on a scene of people skating on the Canal because it seemed outrageously out of season. (but seriously debated the postcard of the Mountie with the really bad moustache…hmmm…). Here is what it said…

I just wanted to send a quick note to say that it was a pleasure to meet you, and to thank you for letting me stay a bit drier in the downpour by sharing your umbrella. It was truly fascinating to meet someone who shares my passion for knitting while DJs spin vinyl.
I had such a great time that evening that I wanted to suggest that you bring me along on all of your dates. I could provide witty banter, transportation and...well...towels. You could provide the umbrella and jaunty ankle jewellery.
In any case, feel free to call me at 555-5555 if any of this sounds like fun to you. Take care!
- Capital City

PS - I think I'm obliged to say "having a fun time in Ottawa"

The girl, of course, called Capital City and they have a date on Saturday. Which is great, because his backup plan was to scope out her building's parking lot for the best angle at which to stand, while holding his ghetto blaster over his head and playing her favourite song --which he would have to take a total shot in the dark at... he was leaning towards "I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)" by Meat Loaf. Lucky girl… on many fronts

So Capital City, may I offer some advice going forward: On the first date, bring flowers… I suggest old school roses – pink. On the second date, a picnic along the canal. On the third date… well, again, I’d go old school – Trojans instead of the trendy Lifestyles

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 1:25 PM :: 1 Comments:

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Thursday, August 04, 2005

Mullets, Mullets & More Mullets

This is the best site I've EVER seen... You must immediately click through to Mullet Mania... OMG, my stomach hurts from laughing!

Go! Now!!!

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 1:32 PM :: 1 Comments:

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And the other side of baseball...

The baseball piece yesterday inspired some interesting debate between Sporty Spice and myself on the Raffy Palmiero steroids debacle… the very guy who a few short months ago sat in front of the senate committee and said: “I have never used steroids. Period. I don't know how to say it any more clearly than that. Never… I am against the use of steroids” has now been accused of using the Ben Johnson steroid (which doctors characterize as “potent”). His new story goes something like this… “I am here to make it very clear that I have never intentionally used steroids. Never. Ever. Period… I am sure you will ask how I tested positive for a banned substance. As I look back, I don't have a specific answer to give... I have never intentionally used a banned substance, but I unfortunately wasn't careful enough.”

Blah, blah, blah, you’re an idiot. Steroids, probably a little Viagra thrown in for good measure (‘cause you know what the ‘roids do to you…)… Imagine Raffy at a news conference then…

Raffy: ...I have no idea how any of this happened... and just for the record, I only took Viagra because I was sleeping with prostitutes...
(Agent whispers in Raffy's ear)
Raffy: ...I've just been told that sleeping with prostitutes is also illegal... my bad... it's been a very confusing week. I hope no one finds out that I'm an illegal immigrant...
(Agent whispers in Raffy's ear)
Raffy: Just kidding folks... the prostitute was an illegal immigrant... got a bit mixed up there... no harm no foul... heh, heh, heh… Next thing you know I’ll have to start paying taxes…
(Agent whispers in Raffy’s ear)
Raffy: (to his Agent) Oh come on! I paid the sales tax on the steroids!!!

Very excited about tomorrow night... Go Yankees... but VERY boo hiss that I'm missing Jason Collett at the Mod Club. VERY TORN. I'm sure Greektown is making note of this and planning to bargain with me tonight... "So I'll go to the Shout Out Louds at Lee's if YOU go to Jason Collett..." Really, it would be a no brainer except that I have the corporate seats - on the third baseline for the Yankees...

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 12:05 PM :: 1 Comments:

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Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Once again from Morningnewsbeat, my favorite newsletter...

You all know that I am an avid baseball fan... regardless of whether you are a fan, the words of Ryne Sandberg are inspiring...

"The reason I am here, they tell me, is that I played the game a certain way, that I played the game the way it was supposed to be played. I don't know about that, but I do know this: I had too much respect for the game to play it any other way, and if there was there was a single reason I am here today, it is because of one word, respect. I love to play baseball. I'm a baseball player. I've always been a baseball player. I'm still a baseball player. That's who I am…"

“It was all about doing things right. If you played the game the right way, played the game for the team, good things would happen. That's what I loved most about the game, how a ground out to second with a man on second and nobody out was a great thing. Respect…"

“I was in awe every time I walked on to the field. That's respect. I was taught you never, ever disrespect your opponent or your team mates or your organization or your manager and never, ever your uniform. Make a great play, act like you've done it before, get a big hit, look for the third base coach and get ready to run the bases, hit a home run, put your head down, drop the bat, run around the bases, because the name on the front is a lot more important than the name on the back. That's respect…"

“These guys sitting up here did not pave the way for the rest of us so that players could swing for the fences every time up and forget how to move a runner over to third, it's disrespectful to them, to you, and to the game of baseball that we all played growing up. Respect…

“The feeling I've had since I got the call is a feeling I suspect will never go away. I'm told it never does. It's the highest high you can imagine. I wish you all could feel what I feel standing here. This is my last big game. This is my last big at-bat. This is my last time catching the final out. I dreamed of this as a child but I had too much respect for baseball to think this was ever possible. I believe it is because I had so much respect for the game and respect for getting the most out of my ability that I stand here today. I hope others in the future will know this feeling for the same reason: Respect for the game of baseball. When we all played it, it was mandatory. It's something I hope we will one day see again.”
- Ryne Sandberg, former Chicago Cubs 2nd baseman, on being inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame, July 31, 2005

”The one constant through all the years has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It's been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and what could be again."
- Terence Mann (James Earl Jones) in “Field of Dreams” (1989)

“Baseball is the most important thing that doesn't matter."
- Robert B. Parker

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 11:58 AM :: 2 Comments:

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Tuesday, August 02, 2005

My mother hates you.

So in my lifetime, I’ve had three serious long-term relationships – one that lasted four years (we lived together for awhile) and ended when he proposed, one that lasted three years and ended when he asked me to move to Halifax with him (and have eight kids) and of course, Ebola (one year). My mother has of course, met all of these guys and because I’m so close with my family, she’s spent quite a bit of time with all except Ebola.

She’s never liked any of them.

I envy all of you who have two parents at home, so that you always have the good cop / bad cop thing happening when you introduce someone to your parents. I just have a make-everyone-really-uncomfortable mother. Case in point: last March, my mother comes to Toronto to help me apartment hunt before my big move and she’s meeting Ebola for the second time… The three of us are headed out to brunch and we’re walking up Yonge Street. We walk by a panhandler. Once we’ve passed him, my mother looks at Ebola and asks “do you ever give money to people on the streets? If so why? If not, why not? How does it make you feel to walk by these people?” So we’ve already walked by the guy, Ebloa did not give him money – how awkward is this?! This is what she likes to do – try to catch them off guard, then judge. If I didn’t actually like these people and didn’t really value my mother’s opinion, it would be really fun to watch! (There’s a reality tv show idea for you… meet the mother.) It’s like a car wreck. A few weeks ago, my mother told me that she really likes my baby sister’s boyfriend – a cop that’s ten years older (he’s actually the same age as the guy I’m seeing!). All signs point to: my mother should hate him, but when I ask what it is that she likes about him, my mother says: “He’s not scared of me.” How do you ever prepare anyone for this?

So for this reason, I’m of course, really hesitant to ever introduce anyone to my mother. I rarely do. Who wants to go through all this unless things are really going somewhere??? Which leads me to my current dilemma – my mother is visiting in a few weeks and what the hell am I going to do about the current dude? I was feeling kind of good about the situation because the dude and I had a bit of a chat over the weekend and I was pretty sure that we were on the same page – we even talked about the whole meeting parents issue and decided that there was no need to rush down that road. Very cool. Until Sunday afternoon, when Mr. Shifty McTricky sneak attacked me with an intro to his parents. So now what? Feed him to the lion?

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 12:00 PM :: 1 Comments:

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