Enough About Me... How About You? What Do You Think Of Me?

Thursday, July 07, 2005

We have pimps on the East Coast too...

So I love that I come from the East Coast. By default, even the more urban areas have that rather rural feel to it – cows, farms, fishing boats, the whole rural experience is no more than a 20 minute drive from every urban center. So when we got all tarted up last Thursday night to hit the town – Marathon Girl, SJ Flames and I – I expected a little of the country to invade the city, but I had no idea what I was in for… Six months away desensitized me to what small town East Coast is all about. We hit the local “upscale pub” (also known as the meat market) for a drink before moving on to the Rockin’ Rodeo. Yes, you heard me right – a dance club called the Rockin’ Rodeo. Before you get to images of me wearing a cowboy hat and line dancing, let me first state that this is THE happening spot on Thursday night and the reason for that is that they play half dance, half country music. Yeah, it really is that bad….

So there we are – looking rather out of place for a number of reasons:

  • Our snatches weren’t showing.
  • None of us were dressed like pimps.
  • We were not 100 lbs overweight (I’ve NEVER seen anything like it).
  • We were not wearing stripper shoes or boots with glass heels.
  • Our t-bars weren’t showing.
  • Finally, none of us were 8 months pregnant, dressed like a hooker and drinking beer while smoking a cigarette. I WISH I WERE KIDDING.

We lasted about an hour and a half until we became exhausted from the ridiculing, then left for the St. George Street Dance Bar – the local gay bar. It was Scary-oke night at the fruit bar and it was entertaining! The self-proclaimed “Queen of Karaoke” did a rather remarkable rendition of the Black Eyed Peas song “Shut Up” which staggered the mind because he sang all the parts himself. Yeah, it was that kind of night.

Things improved slightly when they cleared the dance floor of tables and the obligatory techno dance music flooded the bar. We were immediately surrounded by sweaty, gyrating bodies – awesome. So the four of us (we added to our gang before heading to the fruit bar) kicked it on the dance floor – and as always happens at the fruit bar – the boys came flocking. It’s a phenomenon I do not understand AT ALL. I am apparently irresistible to the gay man. I had one guy dancing with me and doing the “I’m looking up your skirt” move (Puh-Push it real good!). Very entertaining, I must say. SJ Flames even got to cock-block for me when the “up my skirt” guy tried to take it to the next level and make a B/E/G sandwich with another guy. Yeah, I’m all over the suggestive dancing with the gay men – but I’m not really THAT girl – ONE AT A TIME ALREADY!

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 12:07 PM :: 3 Comments:

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