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Friday, June 10, 2005

I don't even know where to begin...

So before I even begin – I have to re-cap on the reviews I owe you guys – Movies: Crash, Star Wars and UnleashedConcertsSpoon. The Spoon concert – at favorite venue – the Opera House was fabulous and a little funny. However last night was so great (for so many reasons) that I have to skip all the outstanding and get right into it…

Oh God, where to start… last night was Martha Wainwright, at the Mod Club in Little Italy. Fast becoming a next-to favorite venue, we stood in the same spot we always do – front box area (picture the Muppets). It was a pretty packed house, which was pretty good for a folk set and there were lots of NXNE (North by North East) bracelet people there.

We played a quick game of “Where’s Jian Ghomeshi” (CBC) in the crowd – I spotted him and was trying to point him out to Greektown in the crowd of what – hundred or so people – in the dark? Anyhow, it went something like this…
B/E/G: He’s over there (pointing vaguely)
Greektown: Where?
B/E/G: he’s touching his face… he’s touching his ear… there, the spotlight is going to hit him, it just did, now he’s touching his face again… he’s wearing a black t-shirt..
Greektown: I got nothing… where the hell are you pointing?
B/E/G: there (pointing vaguely). See, he just touched his ear again… I think it’s itchy... see him? oh spotlight again… still with the ear…
Greektown: WHERE??!!
B/E/G: there – see – touching his face…

Believe it or not this game kept us entertained for a full five minutes…

So I nearly threw up in my mouth when Martha walked out on stage… if she had been standing on a street corner, holding a cup of coffee, I would have dropped money in it – she made the girls on the Trailer Park Boys look like they could be in Flare Magazine. From the old school folded-down high top Converse sneakers (and I MEAN old school – these are from the LAST time Converse sneakers were in style – circa 1990’s), to the disaster of a peasant-type Value Village Special, dress and sweater combo… to oh dear lord, the hair… So bad! And the girl – wait, that was another surprise – woman (‘cause she’s no spring chicken), was on something really fun… Yes, we’re having a good time! Stop asking! And for GD sakes, stop tuning your GD guitar for the 80th time!!!!!

Now, I’m going to talk about the show here, briefly – because it was quite good… girl looks crazy bad, but she’s got pipes… but have no fear – I’m saving the best for last – the crowd… So Martha Wainwright is probably one of the very few voices I’ve ever heard who has that sort of haunting sound, who could convincingly sing a song entitled Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole… I’d read as much in a review of her mostly-industry Drake show a few months back, but yeah, it was awesome… she’s got a kind of complex sound – irritatingly girlish (very 1-900) when she’s talking, but when she sings, it’s so clear and clean and powerful. I really liked the whole show – though admittedly by the end, I was ready to head home – I can only take so much of that sound. Although Greektown’s ears were sort of bleeding – I really enjoyed the cabaret – piano bar 2-song set she did… just her and the piano. (Bit of a crystal ball moment when Martha jokingly commented on her future potential as a lounge singer while clutching her margarita, which she ordered during her set… ha ha ha… yeah, not funny…)

Okay, so are you ready?? Do you have a bit of space around you to move? You are going to want to try some of these out. So first the speaker-hugging/humping crowd. I REALLY did not expect to see a row of hottie men lining the stage and alternately hugging and humping speakers. The sunglasses / oh-so-tight white t-shirt guy was my favorite – so the opposite of who you’d expect to see at the front, let alone humping speakers… I was also very fond of our overstarched-dress-shirt-with-sleeves-rolled-up-singing-every-word-of-every-song guy… he was nice enough to bring his girlfriend with him too. Picture this… we have Martha, who looks like she’s right out of a trailer park. Then we have the trashy girlfriend who was about, what late 30’s AT LEAST, with boobs around her waist, wearing a trampy white dress (just Don’t EVER wear white if you’re not a size 5… just don’t) with peroxide hair that was so straw-like that it looked as though it wanted climb right out of the matching giant butterfly clips holding it in place. You know that Martha’s looking at her, thinking “hun?” and girlfriend is looking at Martha, like, “hun?” Anyhow, oh so very incongruous crowd of men were entertaining, but they were no Proud Mary!

So I said earlier that this was folk music, right? Pretty relaxed music, sort of head bobbing, maybe swaying a little… that’s about it. Well we had the most entertaining dancer in the history of the WORLD at this show. She was opposite us, and downstairs… she caught our eyes right away – it’s just not often that you see headbanging, arms flailing, jumping up and down, moves. It was like Tina Turner meets Mick Jagger. She got so involved that she actually moved back so that she could have a runway to strut up and down. I was in tears from laughing so much… my favorite moves… the Elaine kick, Proud Mary (looks sort of like you’re wheeling a wheelchair), the vertical Proud Mary (same move only done over your head), picking apples, shopping cart, lawnmower – I can’t even explain how funny / bizarre / out of place / hilarious this was – it wasn’t like she was TRYING to do these moves, it’s just the only way I have of sort of describing what I was seeing. And it never stopped! She just kept dancing… one folk song after another!!! Even the posse of gay boys moved out of her way and stood, mouths agape. It was absolutely the best thing I’ve ever seen. I wish every concert was like this…

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 10:54 AM :: 1 Comments:

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