Enough About Me... How About You? What Do You Think Of Me?

Friday, May 06, 2005

Not Ready To Hold Yet...

Although my Super Sexy Hottie Tottie Twin (SSHTT) will kill me for saying this (Ha!!! Have to come to Toronto to do that beyatch!!) I (we) am turning 29 on Sunday. One year closer to 30! You know… as a little girl, I never imagined that at the fabulous age of 29 that I would living in a great apartment in downtown Toronto doing silly stuff like jet setting to LA to concerts (when I’m already seeing everything coming though here). But I digress…

This is a way better version of the life I saw for myself! I have really great friends both back home and here – really fantastic people whom I learn from each day and my family is amazing as well, even if I still miss my Dad every day. And contrary to popular belief back on the East Coast, in Toronto, it’s okay to be late 20’s / early 30’s and still be singe (and like it!). I guess it’s really this part that’s so much different than how I imagined. See if you can follow my train of thought…

I’ve never really wanted to get married and really don’t want children. I’ve felt this way ever since I can remember (my Barbie always made more money than Ken and had her own house). But even though that’s the way I’ve always thought, I still for some reason thought I’d end up shacked up with someone by now. It felt inevitable because everyone else I knew was married and / or living together and it’s what every guy I’ve ever gone out with wanted (even Fanny Pack turned into one of those guys at the end, despite being so independent). I think I thought I’d get tired of fighting it.

It’s not that I want to stay single forever either. I just don’t want to feel like I’m missing something before I have to settle down (and grow the hell up). It probably doesn’t help that I have this very idealistic view of what my perfect relationship is… I just want to be with someone who has their own life, their own friends, and who leaves me to do my own stuff. I recently described this to a friend of mine as living two separate lives together. Surprised that I’m single???!!

I guess because I feel like I’m living my life exactly as I want to, having made (I think) all the right decisions to get here, that I don’t have to hate getting older. I love that each year I get to do even more incredible stuff. My lifestyle is such that I have the freedom and flexibility to anything I want, anytime that I want. So I’m not ready to start lying about my age even if it does piss me off that I have a ton of grey hair (and pay a ton of money to cover it!!).

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 12:06 PM :: 0 Comments:

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