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Thursday, April 07, 2005

Biological Urges - Clocks and So Forth...

I always thought that I’d been born without that ticking time bomb inside that makes sane women baby crazy. Granted I’m not yet at that age, (I think the really crazy urges happen early / mid 30’s?) but really, I just don’t see myself as that person. I do however think that I have a modified version of the clock – I don’t have a raging urge to procreate – I have a need to be in love.

Think that sounds strange? But what other explanation could I have for that bizzaro urge to go out and find a boyfriend? I have the perfect life (I’ve said this before) – I have great family and friends, a fabulous social life, enough money to entertain myself and for those cold winter nights… a selection Mr. Buzzys (thank you Scallywag for the name). So why the overwhelming desire to go out and match up? At these times I find myself nostalgic for the Ebola / Fanny Pack days… I don’t miss Ebola or Fanny Pack (the bad outweighs the good in both cases) but I do at times miss the being in love feeling.

Maybe that’s why I have such a short fuse with guys… for me, it becomes clear, so quickly whether or not I am going to have any kind of sustained interest. I can generally make a judgment within a few dates. So I’m constantly fighting the urge to settle down and that’s why my patience expires so quickly! I want to be a casual dater, but as soon as I know that there’s no real potential, I want them gone. Sort of defeats the purpose, because if I have someone around that I really like then I won’t be casually dating anymore. I feel like I’m going in circles…

I will continue to fight the good fight – striving for superficial, non-sustainable relationships. Damn this clock and its conformity! I will stay unattached!

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 12:09 PM :: 1 Comments:

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