Enough About Me... How About You? What Do You Think Of Me?


Thursday, March 03, 2005

I'm Outta Here

NOTICE: B/E/G will be away for one week starting todaypostings will return on March 14/05. I will have no cell phone, no BlackBerry, no anything with me on my trip. Just a couple of bikinis and some sunscreen…

So I’m leaving on vacation today… my first trip south in many years. I’m of course super pumped (Are you pumped? Are you ready?) to be spending the next week in the sun drenched Mayan Riviera! Not just because I’m desperate for a break from work and the daily grind and not only because it’s a five star hotel and not only because I’ll be harassing pool boys with my terrible Spanish, but because I’ll be sitting on a beach, sipping a daiquiri on March 11th.

Those of you who’ve been around any amount of time know that I like to fall apart around this time of the year. Those of you who’ve been around a LONG time know that this marks the 14th year since my dad died. Which, depending on who you’re asking, means that I’ve lived half my life without him. (Obviously in SSHT years, I’m only 24, but according to Maman, I am 28 – in this particular instance I defer to Maman).

I’ve done a tremendous amount of thinking about how much I miss my dad, and what he would think of me today. I have for the most part, endeavored to live my life in a way that would make him and Maman proud. Even though he’s not around, he’s as much of an influence as Maman and my mindful goal each day is do the right thing and have fun, because that’s what I’ve learned from both.

I often ask myself, what would he think of me? Would he be proud of what I’ve done? Proud of the fact that I live a great life in Toronto? Work hard at a great job, have really amazing friends, do incredible things? Most important, would he appreciate the decisions I’ve taken and sacrifices I’ve made to be where I am today? Of course. Which is what makes this year an odd one. Generally, I get very sad this time of year, have puffy eyes, etc… and it’s not like I’m NOT sad – I am – but there’s another feeling mixed in… This year feels like a coming to terms – a celebration almost – of what I’ve achieved and where I am now, because of their guidance. So sitting on a beach, drink in hand seems like exactly the right thing to do. Cheers!
B/E/G

Posted by Brown Eyed Girl :: 4:22 PM :: 0 Comments:

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